What words can't say
by BlueJay64
Summary: Ginny's fifth year has more to teach her than any other year. Ginny has much to discover about herself, her sexuality and her classmates. Pairing is Linny. This is a VERY LESBIAN fic. I promise it'll be relatable. Rated T for safety. There could be heated scenes.
1. Chapter 1: Dating Dean

Ginny tapped her foot impatiently. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. She was only half-listening to what Dean was saying, he was probably talking about Irish Quidditch—again. The clock on the wall stated that it was 12:23 pm on a Saturday. Damn, this was not how she intended to spend her Saturday. When Dean had asked her out, she had accepted excitedly. Finally, someone noticed her-but Ginny was quickly fining that dating people had drawbacks.  
For example, going to the Three Broomsticks and talking about Quidditch for an hour and a half was considered a 'fun date'. She liked Dean, and she liked Quidditch, but this was becoming all too much to bear. He was beginning to get on her nerves; but what could she say? She sipped her Butterbeer and wished she was back in the Gryffindor common room, even if it meant listening to Thea's crazy punk music. The loud pub was beginning to feel suffocating, and her back was beginning to cramp.  
"… and then, just when everyone was beginning to lose hope, Anik reached out and grabbed the snitch in his broken fist; yes, it was broken—but he still caught it." Dean smiled, and Ginny felt compelled to smile back.  
"Yeah, he must be pretty strong…" Ginny commented.  
"Not as strong as you. I've seen you play; you're amazing—I mean, you play amazing—amazingly…" he stumbled.  
Ginny just felt awkward. "Thanks, Dean." She said brightly. "Hey, it's getting a little crowded in here, did you want to take a walk?"

Dean jumped at the chance to do something Ginny wanted. She hadn't said much and it worried him that she wasn't having a good time. He just got so nervous, and when he was nervous, he babbled. He hoped that she didn't mind his Quidditch babbling. She seemed interested in Quidditch so it couldn't be that bad, right?

The cool winter air stung Ginny's face as she and Dean walked outside. The sky was dappled with clouds, and snow slush still lingered in the lane. She shivered. She knew she should have worn something warmer than her pretty green blouse, but the girls in her dorm said it looked perfect for a date; so she trusted their judgement. Turns out 'functional' was not on their priority list.

"Here, you look freezing," Dean offered his coat to Ginny smiling warmly. What a cliché, Ginny thought. He was kind though, and that's what mattered. She accepted his coat with what she hoped was a kind smile, willing her internal babble to cease. She just wanted to have a good time.  
"Now you're cold!" She said, for conversation's sake.  
"Oh, I'm fine," Dean said, shivering.  
Ginny cast a quick warmth-charm, waving her wand and warming Dean with a flourish.  
He relaxed a little. "Thanks," he said shyly. He offered her his arm, and Ginny took it.  
She imagined how they must look now, a young couple, arm in arm, strolling down Hogsmeade, it probably looked picture perfect. She snuggled up to his warmth and she found talking while walking was tolerable. She pointed out things in shops windows she liked and Dean made fun of the 'stranger' looking objects.

In Zonkos, Dean managed to find a Tomaton; a hat enchanted to constantly feed the wearer tomatoes.  
Ginny laughed so hard that she managed to knock down an entire rack of exploding rabbits, sending a cascade of multiplying rabbits down on her and Dean. The resulting anger of the shop manager sent them giggling onto the street. Despite herself, Ginny felt like she was having a good time.

That was, until he tried to do something Ginny wouldn't have expected.

Right in the middle of Hogsmeade, Dean stroked Ginny's hair out of her eyes and leaned down slowly. She froze. What was happening? Was he okay? He saw her startled expression and smiled softly. "Is-is this okay?" He whispered, inches from her face.

She smiled, because that's what people did in romance novels, and whispered: "It's okay." He closed his eyes and Ginny felt his lips come into contact with hers. Was this what kissing was meant to feel like? She closed her eyes and tried to kiss him back—an awkward lips on lips encounter. Was it meant to be this weird? After what felt like a strange eternity, they slowly pulled away, blushing.

Ginny tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, buying time. She smirked at him and held out her hand. "Ready to go, Dean?"

"I'll always be ready with you…" He said, so softly that Ginny nearly missed it. Oh gosh. This was embarrassing. They'd only been on this one date and now he was bringing out weird one-liners? _Stop being so cynical_, she told herself. This is what dating is like. A girl and a guy, and the occasional awkward moment.

* * *

There was a hand touching hers. That was the first thing Ginny was aware of. She blinked and the world came into focus. She was holding her room-mate, Thea's, hand and standing on the edge of a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. Thea smiled at her, and Ginny's heart thumped. She squeezed Ginny's hand and whispered in her ear. Ginny couldn't hear what she said over the pounding in her heart and the crash of the ocean waves below. Thea looked so beautiful, the wind whipped her hair around her face and she laughed.

"Are you ready?" Thea asked. Ginny had no idea what she was talking about, but she nodded anyway. Whatever it was, Ginny would just be brave and get over it. Thea stepped to the edge of the cliff, holding Ginny's hand, and they jumped in sync, waiting for the cold splash when they hit the ocean below them.

"Ginny, are you ready?" Thea sounded muffled. Ginny groaned as morning light hit her face. Thea must have opened the curtain s, to the dorm room, like she did every morning. Ginny sat up tiredly, blinking away sleep. Thea turned to face her, and the events of her dream came rushing back like a slap in the face.

"What time is it?" She asked, disoriented.

"It's ten to nine!" Thea practically squealed. "Class begins in 10 minutes. We're going to be late!"

Ginny groaned. She was far too confused to formulate a response. What had she just dreamed about?

* * *

_**Thanks for reading! It will progress soon—I just wanted to give a little back-story to Ginny and some awkward Lesbian moments. Dating a guy when you're into girls can be awkward as hell, but Ginny doesn't know anything other than 'straight'. **_

_**Please review; they mean the world to me! Your honest opinion is very welcome, whether it be critical or just a ':)'. **_

_**Suggestions will be taken on board :)**_


	2. Chapter 2: Accidental Encounters

**_Criticism_****_ and Comments will always be taken into account so don't feel shy; I don't have a BETA, so me, myself and I could have missed something. I write what I would want to read, but I'm aware that this might be different from what others want to read, so please feel free to suggest anything that you would want in this story. _**

**_Thank you MiraQuinn for your lovely review. _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter franchise, it belongs to J.K Rowling and her affiliates and not me. :( _**

* * *

Ginny stood in the boiling water of the dorm showers. She was scrubbing herself furiously; partly to scrub off the mud she had accumulated from the Quidditch practice, but mostly because she felt like if she scrubbed enough, she could remove all trace of the day.

Following her weird dream last night, Ginny had woken up to a stressed Thea and a weird headache. The day only got worse from there. When she had arrived at breakfast, someone had stolen all the eggs and bacon off her table, and so she was forced to eat dry toast. Her empty stomach had growled all the way to lunch.

In charms, the class she shared with the Ravenclaws, some smart-ass had decided to set her desk on fire. Lunch was no better. Dean made a huge show of pulling out her chair and keeping her plate full; which was nice, but really weird and awkward. Potions was almost an escape. Quidditch practice SUCKED royally, she couldn't even score a single goal. Ginny turned the hot water up further and stared at the beige tiles that lined the shower walls. She was tired. Really tired. Despite this; she knew she wasn't going to fall asleep, so she did what any rational person would do. She stepped out of the shower and found her running gear. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Luna stared at the moonless night and sighed contentedly. She watched the reflections of the stars in the black lake ripple and swirl the further she walked into the water. Her ankles were starting to get cold, but she didn't want to chicken out yet. She still wanted to see the reclusive Meta-Philla before the new moon was over. Luna willed herself to take another step, distracting herself by naming as many strange vegetables as she could. Broccoli was definitely on the list.

Soon she was waist-deep in the black lake, her white dress floating around her in the water. She smiled softly, enjoying the ethereal experience that came from the lake. She cast a quick eye protection charm and then ducked under and into the icy water.

Luna breathed out slowly, following the bubbles with her eyes. She stuck her wand in her mouth and began her search.

She knew the Meta-Philla were bright and luminous, so she was certain that as long as she didn't cast any light of her own, she would be able to spot one. The task proved more difficult than she thought; the tiny creatures did not want to be found. She wondered if this was for the best. Perhaps the things shrouded in mystery were the most special.

* * *

Ginny pushed her legs forward, trying to persuade them to keep moving. She had already been running for 30 minutes, but a trivial thing like time never stopped her. She was running to clear her head, and until her head was clear, she would not stop.

The lawn around Hogwarts was springy and green, and Ginny couldn't help admiring the grounds, even as her lungs screamed for air. The night was clear, and Ginny succumbed to temptation and stopped running and simply took in the night. It had become a pastime for her; these nocturnal walks. They helped clear her mind. She leaned against the stone of the outer wall of Hogwarts, trying to catch her breath. She stared out at the black lake and tried not to think. The night was super dark, but when she squinted, she thought she could see ripples. _Come on, Ginny_… she thought, _paranoia is never a good look_. But the more she did look, she swore she could see shapes darting in and out. The stars reflected in the lake seemed more luminous than the stars themselves. Curious, Ginny jogged over to the edge of the lake. They were brighter…She stared in awe at the flickering lights beneath the surface of the water. She lent in, enraptured. They seemed to be saying something like they wanted her near. She leant in further and with one very uncoordinated splash, she fell into the cold depths of the lake.

* * *

Luna was getting closer, she could feel it. She felt the Meta-Philla before she saw the flickering lights. She covered her ears with her hands. They used sonar to enrapture and trap their prey. Luna shook her head, trying to clear the image of a girl from her vision, sure that it was one of the Meta-Philla's illusions to lure her in. When she saw the tendrils reach out to try and drag the girl deeper, Luna was sure that it wasn't an illusion. She nearly choked in surprise. _What was this girl doing? Did she not know the dangers of the black lake? _Without hesitation, Luna dove in, kicking with all her might. She grabbed the unidentifiable girl and pulled her up with all her strength. The Meta-Philla didn't give their prey up easily—but Luna kept pulling. Luna was surprisingly strong, and she knew it. Eventually, the slimy tendrils snapped. Luna winced. She didn't mean to disturb them, but they were trying to eat a girl. Luna shook her head disapprovingly at the Meta-Philla and they shrank back. Satisfied, Luna willed her exhausted legs to propel her and the lifeless girl to the air.

The surface broke and Luna gasped for air. She dog paddled to the bank of the lake and lay the girl, who Luna thought looked familiar, on her side. Luna pressed down on the girl's chest, and the girl coughed up water, blinking blearily. Luna leant in, her face inches from the girls. She squinted, trying to see if the girl was conscious or not. The girl jumped so abruptly into a sitting position that Luna nearly fell backwards out of sheer fright.

"Are you alright?" Luna asked tentatively.

The girl blinked, clearly disoriented. "Oh, me? I'm fine!" She said unconvincingly. "Just—uh—taking a dip…"

Luna didn't blame the girl for feeling embarrassed. She had been privy to some of the Philla's tricks when she was younger.

"They are very beautiful, aren't they?" Luna commented.

"Hmm?" the girl said, blushing.

"The Meta-Philla," Luna said as a way of explanation.

"Oh." The girl paused. "I never knew so many lived in our lake…" she said slowly.

Luna laughed. It was a soft, tinkling sound. "Neither did I. I was expecting maybe a couple and I was met with a couple of thousand." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear self-consciously. She hoped this girl didn't think she was weird.

The girl smiled. "I'm Ginny, by the way." She said, more shyly now. "I think we've met before, on the Hogwarts Express."

Of course! How could Luna have forgotten? She blushed. "I'm Luna." Why was this so weird? Luna was never this self-conscious around her other classmates. She stood up, wringing out her sopping wet dress. Luna extended her hand out to Ginny.

When their hands met, Luna felt a little buzz. Ginny's hands were rough and calloused, but they fit perfectly in hers.

For some reason, when they stood up, Ginny wouldn't look at Luna properly. She kept avoiding her gaze or staring so hard at her face that Luna would have found it aggressive if she didn't know any better. What was going on?

* * *

Ginny's heart was beating fast and her cheeks were aflame. Even now, as she was warm and safe in her dorm, she still felt as weirdly exhilarated. _Just from the embarrassment of being saved from drowning in the Black Lake_, she told herself. She couldn't stop thinking about Luna. Luna's hand in hers, Luna's strong grip as she hoisted her out of the Black Lake.

Now, far from the lake, she could admit it. She thought Luna was awesome. She wasn't entirely sure what was going on in her messed-up head, but she knew that she wanted to be friends with this strange new girl. Ginny sighed. She had probably scared her new friend away with her scrutinising gaze. Ginny hugged her pillow to her chest. Well, what else was she going to do? It wasn't like she could look down; Luna's wet dress had clung to her, revealing more than what would have normally been deemed appropriate. What Ginny wouldn't let herself think was… she had wanted to look down. God, it sounded so bad when she thought about it.

Ginny drifted off into a restless sleep, images of blonde-haired girls haunting her dreams.

* * *

**_Thank y'all for reading! The next chapter will be up soon; this is basically my therapy so I'll be updating pretty often. Thanks, and please leave a review! They are like little rainbows in my grey days. :) _**

_**I've heard slow-burns are the best so this will be a ****fiery**** one. ;)**_


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